Dear Channel Ten,
We need to talk. There have been some things troubling me lately and I think we need to hash it out. Unfortunately I cannot say the “It’s not you, it’s me” cliché because it is very much you.
You’ve changed Channel Ten.
It’s been a slow process but I’ve definitely been noticing some differences in you. You’re changing… and not for the better.
First it started small: longer ad breaks, louder ad breaks, but I can hardly blame you for that. Advertising has become something embedded in the typical life of a Gen Y. I am constantly surrounded, immersed and basically battered over the head with it. This, I can put up with.
But then you started disrespecting me. It didn’t happen all the time but when it did it wasn’t easy to smile and look at you the same way. No longer did programs start when you said they were going to start but ten or even fifteen minutes after the scheduled beginning. Not cool.
You may think this is trivial and most people would not even remember when this started happening. But I remember, Channel Ten.
I remember because I was young when it started happening, at the age of early school mornings and strict bed times. What do you think happened when my parents yelled “Bed time!” but the show I was so innocently watching on television was running a little over time? I missed the ending. Then older, when I myself knew I needed to go to bed but the television show before the program I was planning to watch was running way over time and instead of ending at nine thirty, ended at ten. Do you know how many mornings I woke up tired and exhausted because of you?
The reason for this behaviour is obvious – you want to keep as many people watching your channel for as long as possible so that when they miss the start of other television shows on another channel, they feel lost and consequently end up back on Channel Ten to watch the next show you have on to offer. Greedy, Channel Ten, very greedy.
You keep asking me to take you ‘seriously’ Channel Ten but how can I when you continue to take commercial television for all its worth? You try and hide your devious ways behind a bubbly personality. Getting celebrities to press your little yellow button and making it look like they’re having such a fun time chasing your logo.
Seriously, Channel Ten?
Then you have these Channel Ten Promotions of celebrities naming what they believe. Apparently a lot of American television stars believe there’s no better place to be than Channel Ten! You know what I believe, Channel Ten? I believe you’re lying to me.
I was willing to put up with all of this, Channel Ten; after all, you have been a part of my life for such a long time. You kept me entertained and were always there for me when I had nothing better to do. I could ignore your flaws and just take you for what you were. However, a few days ago I reached breaking point. On Friday the 5th of August I was minding my own business and catching a tram up Swanston Street. In my hand I held the mX newspaper which I had just picked up from Southern Cross station. Having not had a chance to even glance at the cover story as of yet, I rolled out the paper and there, on the front cover, was the story that ruined our relationship.
This is it, Channel Ten, now it is time to be ‘serious’.
This story described your plan for the MasterChef finale: to have one episode air at seven thirty, then an episode of The Renovators AND THEN the results of the MasterChef finale at nine thirty. Needless to say I was not impressed.
Channel Ten, I hate to say it, but I think it’s over.
Putting an episode of The Renovators between the two episodes of the MasterChef finale was incredibly rude of you. Is it not enough that I am force fed advertising through the product placement already inherent in the MasterChef show? Now you are blatantly forcing me to watch a show that has poor ratings to get your loyal and vulnerable audience addicted to another one of your product-happy, mind-numbing reality television shows! I feel like you want more from me than I’m prepared to give.
We’ve had a good run, Channel Ten but sometimes too much of something makes you sick. I think I need to take a step back. Maybe we should take a break? I honestly just don’t feel like being in a relationship right now and I think I need some space.
Ex Channel Ten viewer.